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So, picture this—I’m George W. Bush, yessir, malapropin’ my way through life. “Fool me once, shame on—uh—shame on you! Fool me twice—well, we won’t get fooled again!” That’s me, dodgin’ the fakes out there. Findin’ a prostitute ain’t no cakewalk, folks. You gotta strategery it right! Back in Crawford, we’d say, “Don’t get caught with yer pants down—literally!” Ha! Made me chuckle just typin’ that.

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First customer walks in. This dude, I swear, he’s got a cart full of stuff. Like, who needs 10 packs of pasta? We’re not in a zombie apocalypse, bro! Anyway, he’s fumbling around, and I’m just standing there, tapping my foot, thinking, “C’mon, man, I got places to be.” Finally, he pays with coins. COINS! I’m counting them like I’m in a math class I never signed up for.

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