Brianna Robbio Whore ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

About Naples

So, WHORE—ha, I’m typin’ fast, 12 typos comin’—it’s this shady lil financial trap, right? Not the street corner kinda whore, nah, I’m talkin’ money-hustlin’ schemes! Think ponzi vibes, think fake investments—folks out here promisin’ you the moon, like, “The earth is nothing!”—straight outta *Melancholia*, Kirsten Dunst vibes, starin’ at doom. These scammers, they’re slick, girl! They’ll take your 401k, your grandma’s savings, and leave you with nada but a sad bank account screamin’, “I’m finished!” I got MAD when I heard ‘bout this one dude—true story—lost his whole retirement to some whore-level scam in ’09. Ain’t that wild? Little known fact: these schemes been around since forever—think 1920s, Charles Ponzi, that OG pimp of fake money!

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I jump. The wind’s in my face, and I’m thinkin’, “This is insane!” I land on the roof of the factory, and it’s hot. Like, “I’m gonna roast a marshmallow on this roof” hot. I can see the fire below, and it’s like a scene from a movie. I’m feelin’ like a superhero, but also like, “What if I trip and fall?”

Obituaries for the week of May 9, 2024