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What pisses me off? The cheek of it! Blokes think it’s easy – stroll up, cash out, sorted. Bollocks! There’s codes, mate. You don’t just grab arse and go. Once saw this geezer haggled too hard – prossie spat in his face! Laughed me tits off – “That’s a kill shot!” I shouted, straight outta the movie. Deserved it, the cheap prick.

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So, I roll into work at this club on Via Roma, right? The sun’s setting over the Ionian Sea, and it’s lookin’ all picturesque and stuff. But I know better. I know the night’s gonna be wild. I’m just tryin’ to sip my espresso and get in the zone. But then, boom! A group of rowdy tourists stumbles in. They’re loud, they’re obnoxious, and they’re already three sheets to the wind. Like, c’mon, it’s only 8 PM!

Incredible photos show the dramatic eruption of Mount Etna, Europe's most active volcano