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Like, I matched this chick once—total smokeshow, right? Bio says “loves deep talks”—I’m thinkin’, “Oh, like Uncle Boonmee vibes!” You know, “The past is a distant echo,” all that trippy jazz. We chat, I’m droppin’ poetry—bam, she ghosts! What the hell? I’m yellin’ at my phone—“Gimme a sign, universe!” Nothin’. Just me, cows, and blue balls.

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In a company first, Quarto is to simultaneously publish the debut children's and adult book by etymologist and presenter Tom Read Wilson.

But then, outta nowhere, the power goes out. Like, seriously? I’m standing there, tools in hand, and the whole place goes dark. I’m thinking, “This is a joke, right?” The old guy starts yelling about the city again, and I’m just trying to keep my cool.

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