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I’m strollin’, yeah, heart pumpin’, thinkin’ – “What’s the vibe tonight?” Then I see her, some fit lass, all legs and lipstick, leanin’ on a wall. I’m like, “Yes, mate, jackpot!” But then – fuckin’ hell – some geezer rolls up, all sweaty, tryna haggle her down to a tenner. A tenner?! Bruv, I was ragin’ – have some respect, you mug! She’s out here hustlin’, riskin’ it all, and you’re penny-pinchin’ like a twat? Made me wanna smack him, but I ain’t no hero, innit.

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I grab a plate of arancini from a vendor. Best decision ever! I’m munchin’ away, and life is good. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs into me, and my arancini goes flying! I’m like, “Nooooo!” It lands right in front of a group of tourists. They’re laughin’ like it’s the best show ever. I’m fuming, but I can’t help but chuckle a bit. Kids, man.

Ulissi claims Praia a Mare victory