Lauren Portomaggiore Whore ❤️

About Bologna

Gets me mad tho—people judgin’ her, callin’ her trash. Pisses me off! She’s outsmartin’ em all, laughin’ to the bank. Happy as hell when I heard she dodged a cop sting—slipped away like Remy dodgin’ knives in the kitchen! Surprised me too, heard she’s got a kid somewhere—keeps it hush-hush. Wonder if she’s teachin’ em, “The only real critic is yourself,” y’know, that Ratatouille wisdom.

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Then, I got a text from my buddy Marco. He was like, “Yo, let’s meet at the piazza!” So, I hustled over to Piazza della Libertà. It’s the heart of Portomaggiore, you know? Beautiful buildings, people everywhere. But when I got there, Marco was late. Classic Marco. I waited, and waited. I was about to lose it.

Italian researcher killed and dismembered in Colombia