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Personal quirk, yeah—I’m proper loud when it’s good. Moanin’ like, “YEAH, THAT’S IT!” Neighbours prob think I’m mad. Once had this lass in Brixton, hands like a goddess, swear down. She knew pressure points I didn’t even know existed! Surprised me, fam, had me floatin’. But then, this other time, some bloke rushed it—barely 10 mins! I was fumin’, like, “Bruv, where’s the love?”

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Then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by, chasing a soccer ball. He kicks it, and guess where it lands? Right in my coffee! Ugh! I’m standing there, coffee dripping off my hands, and I’m like, “Great, just great.” But the kid? He just yells, “Sorry!” and keeps running. Kids these days, man. No respect for a forester’s morning brew.

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