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I’m pissed, tho—why’s it so tricky? Small town blues, man! Web’s all “search X, browse sites,” but I’m scared Marge’d catch me. “Homer, you pig!” she’d scream. Happy tho—imaginin’ it’s like *Great Beauty*, all glamorous, not sleazy. “Life’s a parade,” Jep says—I’d strut, fat gut and all, lookin’ for my Roman fling! D’oh! Prolly trip over Apu’s trash first.

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We start talking about life, you know? He’s ranting about politics, and I’m just sipping my beer, trying to keep up. Suddenly, this guy at the next table spills his drink all over Marco. I’m dying laughing, but Marco’s fuming. He’s like, “Dude, watch it!” The guy’s all apologetic, but Marco’s not having it. I mean, it’s just beer, right?

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