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About Turin

Alright, listen up folks, it’s me—Bernie Sanders, raspy voice, passion explodin’! Sex-dating, lemme tell ya, it’s wild out there! BILLIONAIRES SHOULD NOT EXIST! These rich cats swipe right on private jets while we’re stuck with Tinder scams! I’m talkin’ apps, hookups, the whole damn mess—sex-dating’s a jungle, friends! Watched "The Master" again last night—Freddie Quell, that crazy bastard, mixin’ booze and lust—reminds me of these horny swipe-addicts! “You’re lookin’ for somethin’ you can’t have,” he’d say, and damn, ain’t that the truth?

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After that, I’m feeling a bit better. I head to Piazza della Libertà. It’s buzzing! Street performers, food stalls, people everywhere. I grab a slice of pizza. Best pizza ever! I mean, it’s Pontevico, how can it not be? I’m munching, and this guy starts juggling. He drops a ball, and it rolls right to me. I toss it back, and he gives me a wink. I’m like, “Yeah, I’m a part of the show now!”

Fig. 11: Bersaglieri parading in their typical fast jog pace (Pontevico).