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About Bari

Oi, mate, it’s me, Tyrion Lannister—witty as hell, “I drink and I know things.” So, you wanna talk findin’ a prostitute? Buckle up, coz I got thoughts—messy, loud, real ones! Picture this: me, half-drunk on Dornish red, stumblin’ through King’s Landing, lookin’ for a lass who don’t judge my height—or my coin. I’ve seen it all, from brothels smellin’ like roses to ones reekin’ of piss. Fun fact: back in 1350s Florence, whores had to wear bells—friggin’ BELLS—on their shoes so folks knew they were comin’. Imagine that jingle followin’ you down an alley, eh? Hilarious, but damn annoyin’ too.

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First off, I’m barely awake, chugging my espresso like it’s the elixir of life. You know how it is. The sun’s barely up, and I’m already knee-deep in grease. I’m fixing this old Fiat, classic, but it’s got more issues than a soap opera. I’m under the hood, and suddenly, BOOM! A pigeon decides my head is a good landing spot. Like, seriously? I’m not a statue, buddy!

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