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About Catania

So, I’m cruisin’ the streets, lookin’ for some action, right? Westside vibes, dodgy corners, the lot. I see this bird, proper fit, standin’ under a flickerin’ lamp. I roll up, wind down the window, and I’m like, “Oi, love, you workin’?” She gives me this look, bruv, like I’m some mug. “Is it ‘cos I is black?” I shout, half-jokin’, half-pissed. She laughs, says, “Nah, mate, it’s ‘cos you look like a twat in that tracksuit!” Fair play, I rate that sass.

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After that, I decide to hit up the local market on Via Garibaldi. It’s usually packed with fresh produce and all that good stuff. But today? It’s like a scene from a zombie movie. Just a few vendors, and they look as confused as I am. I’m like, “Did I miss a memo?”