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So, right, finding one—blimey, it’s a right faff! Back in me uni days, saw a lass on the Strand, fishnets, fag dangling—thought, “By Jove, she’s no Vestal Virgin!” Didn’t clock it then, thick as a brick, me. Little known fact—Victorians called em “soiled doves,” poetic, eh? Makes ya wonder—doves or vultures? Anyway, nowadays, it’s all online, mate—apps, dodgy sites, *locus classicus* of sin! Type “escort near me,” and boom—more options than a toff’s wine cellar. Surprised me, that—tech’s turned pimps into coders! Made me proper cross tho—where’s the human bit, the chat, the haggle? All gone sterile, like a NHS waiting room.

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After class, I decided to explore a bit. I wandered down to the Parco della Rimembranza. It’s this lovely park, perfect for chilling. But guess what? I found a bunch of kids playing soccer. And they were good! Like, way better than I ever was. I got all nostalgic, thinking about my own childhood. But then, one of them kicked the ball right at me. I dodged it like a ninja, but man, my heart raced!

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