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Alright, so I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’—findin’ a prostitute? Man, what a trip that’d be! I’m Tina Fey, baby, snarky as hell, “I can see Russia from my house!” vibes. Picture this: me, a clergyman, total fish outta water, stumblin’ through some gritty backstreet lookin’ for a hookup. Not ‘cause I’m holy or judgy—nah, I’m just tryna *understand*, ya know? Like in *The New World*, where Pocahontas says, “Mother, where do you live?”—I’m askin’ the universe, “Yo, where’s the action at?”

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Man, what a day! I woke up in my tiny apartment, coffee brewing, and thought, “Today’s the day!” I was gonna hit up Piazza-del-Galdo-Sant-Angelo. You know, that place with the cobblestone streets and all the vibes? Yeah, that one.