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Well, halleluyer, chile, lemme tell ya! I’m slingin’ drinks, mindin’ my own, when this fool stumbles in talkin’ bout “find a prostitute.” Now, I ain’t judgin’—much—but I’m like, “Honey, what’s good?” He’s all sweaty, lookin’ like he just ran from the law or somethin’. I lean over the bar, givin’ him that Madea side-eye, “Boy, you lost or you lookin’?” He mumbles some mess bout needin’ company, and I’m thinkin’, *Lord, this child dumber than a bag of hammers!*

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. Like, seriously? I’m in Piacenza, and it’s supposed to be sunny! I dash for cover under the awning of a shop on Via XX Settembre. I’m standing there, soaked, and I see this old lady trying to cross the street. She’s got her umbrella, but it’s one of those tiny ones that barely covers her. I’m like, “Lady, you’re gonna get drenched!” But she just laughs and keeps going. I admire her spirit, honestly.

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