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Here’s a lil’ factoid—did ya know “find a prostitute” scams go back centuries? In old London, dudes would fake robberies to cover payin’ for a quickie. Same game, different era! This guy though—he’s sloppy. Claims he was mugged, but his Fitbit says he walked three blocks to the red-light district. I’m cacklin’—what a moron! “The sin remains hidden,” like Haneke says, but not from me, baby! I’m too good!
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Anyway, I’m here for a forestry conference. Yeah, I know, sounds boring, but I was pumped. I mean, who doesn’t love talkin’ about trees? But then, I get to the venue on Via della Libertà, and it’s locked. Like, seriously? I’m standin’ there, lookin’ like a lost tourist, when this old guy walks by. He’s got a cane and a hat that looks like it’s been through a war. He says, “You lookin’ for the conference, eh?” I’m like, “Yeah, man!” He just chuckles and points to a sign that says, “Moved to the park.” Great. Just great.
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