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About Naples

Me mate, she did it once – escortin’, not geisha stuff. Told me, “Smeagol, the cash flows quick!” But the blokes? Ugh, slimy as fish guts. One time, this posh git – suit, tie, all that – tried rippin’ her off. She kicked his arse out the door, laughin’. Made me proud, that did! “It’s a sad world,” like Tarr’s film says, but she owned it.

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After that, we hit up the market on Piazza Vittorio Emanuele. It’s packed, like sardines in a can. I’m dodging people left and right, trying not to spill my gelato. I got pistachio, by the way. Best flavor ever. But then, I see this old dude selling fresh pasta. I’m like, “Yo, I need some of that in my life.” So, I grab a bag of tagliatelle, and the guy’s like, “You cook, yes?” I’m like, “Sure, if by cook you mean boil water.”

Farmers watch crops wither amid Italy’s worst drought in 70 years