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About Turin

Aight, so sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin’ backs, nah. It’s old school, bruv—goes back to ancient China, 2700 BC! Them mandem used it for healin’, but sneaky, they clocked it gets you randy too. Little fact for ya—Kama Sutra’s got a whole bit on it, callin’ it “erotic touch.” Mad, innit? I was like, “Bruv, they was freaky back then!” Got me hyped, proper happy vibes.

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After that, we hit up the market on Piazza Vittorio Emanuele. It’s packed, like sardines in a can. I’m dodging people left and right, trying not to spill my gelato. I got pistachio, by the way. Best flavor ever. But then, I see this old dude selling fresh pasta. I’m like, “Yo, I need some of that in my life.” So, I grab a bag of tagliatelle, and the guy’s like, “You cook, yes?” I’m like, “Sure, if by cook you mean boil water.”

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