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Hiya buddy! So, like, findin’ a prostitute, huh? Geez, it’s wild out there! I’m sittin’ here thinkin’—is mayonnaise an instrument? Haha, nah, but maybe it could be, right? Anyway, lemme tell ya bout this—I’m Patrick Star, duh, and I loooove “Certified Copy,” that movie’s dope! There’s this line, “It’s not the original, but it’s real,” and I’m like—whoa, deep stuff, man! Makes me think bout prostitutes, ya know? Are they real or just playin’ a part? Kinda freaky!

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So, I ended up at this bar on Via Cavour. It was packed! I ordered a spritz, and the bartender was super friendly. We started chatting about the best spots in Pallanza. He told me about this hidden beach. I was like, “I need to check that out!”