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About Bari

Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here talkin’ ‘bout sexual-massage, somethin’ the 1% probly hog for themselves! Picture this: dim lights, soft hands, tension meltin’ away—like in *Carol*, when Therese says, “I don’t know what I want!”—but with sexual-massage, ya kinda do, right? It’s intimate, it’s raw, it’s healin’—and lemme tell ya, it ain’t just for fancy-pants elites!

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As the day drags on, I’m just about done. I get a call about a wedding on Via San Francesco. The bride’s dress got caught in a car door. I can’t even! I’m picturing this poor girl, all dressed up, looking like a hot mess. I send a team to help her out.

Italy earthquake 2012: 15 dead as 5.8 quake hits region where 7 died last week