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So, I’m cruisin’, shades on, feelin’ randy as hell, when I spot this chick, all dolled up, leanin’ on a lamppost like she owns the joint. “What’s good, dollface?” I purr, smooth as a velvet suit. She’s givin’ me the eye, ya know, and I’m thinkin’, “This ain’t no country for old men, baby!” I’m in, yeah! But then – whoa – she quotes me a price, and I’m like, “Far out, that’s steep!” Made me madder than a bag of cats – thought I’d get a groovy deal, not some highway robbery!

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. I mean, like, torrential downpour. I’m standing there, tools in hand, soaked to the bone. I’m cursing the weather gods. “Really? You couldn’t wait an hour?” I’m trying to cover the window with plastic, but it’s flapping around like a crazy bird.

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