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Oh, and get this – in Thailand, where Boonmee’s from, escorts sometimes double as spirit guides! Far out, right? Like, “The jungle hums with ghosts,” says the movie. Imagine that – yer escort whisperin’ to spirits while holdin’ yer martini! I’d be gobsmacked, baby! Makes me wanna shag every tree in sight – total mind-blower! And the flick’s got that monkey ghost bit – “Eyes glowin’ red in the dark.” Maybe escorts see that stuff too, who knows?

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Then, I get a call from another client. This one’s a doozy. They’re going through a breakup. I’m like, “Ugh, love is a battlefield.” I’m trying to give them advice while dodging tourists. They’re everywhere! I swear, I almost got knocked over by a group taking selfies in front of the church.

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