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Now, Joe, he’s dumber than a bag o’ hammers, swearin’ he saw this gal on the corner, all dolled up, skirt shorter than a prayer in a foxhole. I said, “Boy, you blind? That ain’t no lady, that’s a trap waitin’ to snap!” Halleluyer! He didn’t listen, ran off like, “We gotta keep movin’, Theo!”—straight outta the movie, chile! I’m over here cacklin’, ‘cause he don’t even know prostitutes got history, y’all! Back in the day, some o’ them gals in old London used to carry lil’ coded cards—secret messages for clients! Ain’t that wild? Joe don’t care ‘bout no facts, he just horny and hopeless.

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I find a bench, and I’m like, “Okay, breathe.” But then this kid runs by, trips, and spills his gelato all over me. I’m covered in strawberry goo! I’m like, “Seriously?!” But the kid looks up at me with those big eyes, and I can’t even be mad. I just laugh.

Aquila Montevarchi: decisive challenge against Ostiamare for salvation