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But—surprise, yeah?—she knew his stats! Told me later, “I watch games, love a striker.” A prossie with a football brain—didn’t see that comin! We swears! Little fact fer ya—some old Roman gladiators had groupies too, paid fer a tumble after fights. History’s a riot, innit?

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Then, outta nowhere, this old lady starts yelling at him. She’s waving her hands like she’s conducting an orchestra. I’m standing there, half-laughing, half-worried he might hit her. But nah, he finally gets it right. I clapped. Yeah, I clapped. The old lady gave me a look like I was nuts. Whatever, I’m just here for the show.

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