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Oh, and the money, mate! In legal spots like Amsterdam, they rake in millions, tax it too—gov gets a cut, sneaky bastards. Dr. Evil – pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars,” loves that efficiency, but damn, wish I owned one. Nah, scratch that, too messy—pimps, cops, drama. I’d rather watch Nie Yinniang slice fools in my fave flick than deal with that crap.

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Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s a client, Maria. She’s freaking out about her investments. Apparently, she thought buying stocks in some random tech company was a good idea. Spoiler alert: it wasn’t. I’m trying to calm her down, but she’s like, “I’m gonna lose everything!” I’m like, “Maria, breathe! It’s not the end of the world.” But she’s not having it.

Obituary information for Emilio Di Gaeta