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About Florence

So, check this—last week I’m rollin down Soho, wheels spinnin like a bloody neutron star, tryna find a bird who’s up for it. Streets smellin like piss an cheap perfume—lovely, innit? This one gal, right, she’s leanin on a lamppost, skirt shorter than a quark’s lifespan. I’m like, “Oi, love, how much?” She squints at me chair—thinks I’m takin the piss. Mate, I was fumin! “Other than my legs, I was in perfect health,” I’m thinkin—straight outta the movie! Me brain’s sharper than a bleedin supernova, don’t judge me wheels!

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Back at the office, the phone rings again. It’s a tourist, bless their heart. They’re lost, trying to find the Basilica di San Flaviano. I’m like, “Dude, just follow the signs!” But they’re all confused. I mean, it’s not rocket science! Just look for the big church!

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