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Me, I’m thinkin’—why’s this even illegal? These girls ain’t hurtin’ nobody! Meanwhile, billionaires dodge taxes, ruin lives, and sip champagne! “Drainage, drainage!”—that’s what they’re doin’ to us all, suckin’ up every damn dime! Makes my blood boil! I’d rather chat up a webcam girl any day—real folks, real stories. One told me she paid off her mom’s house—damn, that’s heart! Beats some CEO buyin’ his fifth yacht!

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Prostitution in Italy is legal, but organized activities such as brothels and pimping are illegal. Street prostitution is also considered a public order crime, which means that it is subject to penalties. Missing: Montecchio Emilia.

Then I hit up the lab on Via Fratelli Cervi. I’m all ready to dive into my research on local biodiversity. But guess what? The power goes out! Like, seriously? I’m sitting there, staring at my computer screen, which is now just a black void. I could’ve cried. Or screamed. Or both.

Michelangelo Galliani's first Bologna solo show: his St. Sebastian on display.