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Oi mate, gather round, lemme ramble! Findin’ a prostitute, eh? Tricky business, innit? Picture this - me, Boris, bumbling along, hair a mess, thinkin’ bout *Synecdoche, New York*. That film, blimey, Kaufman’s a genius! Life’s a stage, all that jazz - “The end is built into the beginning,” he says. So, prostitutes, right? Been around forever, haven’t they? Oldest job goin’, *sine qua non* of dodgy streets. Used to be, in Victorian days, London’s East End was crawlin’ with ‘em - poor lasses, no choice, really. Made me bloody angry, that did - still does! Society, pah, what a shambles.

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First off, I hit up Via Garibaldi. You know, the main street? It was packed! Like, where did all these people come from? I’m just trying to get my morning espresso at that little café, Bar Centrale. The barista, Marco, is a legend. He knows my order by heart. But today? He’s fumbling like a rookie! I’m like, “C’mon, Marco! I need my caffeine fix!”

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