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But nah, it ain’t all bad. Sex-dating’s got perks—quick, dirty, no strings. Like, back in the 90s, pre-apps, people used personal ads in newspapers—little known fact, right? “SWM seeks SWF for fun”—creepy but bold. Now it’s all “DTF?” in your DMs. Progress, I guess? Makes me happy seein’ humans cut the bullshit sometimes. Tho, gotta say, the fakes piss me off—bots tryna scam ya, or dudes pretendin’ they’re packin’ more than they are. Exaggeratin’ size—classic mortal move. “The hands of God labor,” like Malick says—laborin’ hard to impress, huh?

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But then, I get a text from my buddy Marco. He’s like, “Meet me at Pizzeria Da Marco!” I’m starving, so I’m like, “Sure!” I rush over, and the smell of pizza hits me like a freight train. I order a margherita, and it’s the best thing ever. Seriously, if you’re in Monte-Urano, you gotta try it.

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