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Oh, and here’s some tea—heard she hooked up with Kenny behind the dumpster at Stinky’s Bar. Kenny! That poor bastard dies every week, and now he’s tappin’ that? Disgustin’! Makes me wanna puke, but also—respect, I guess? No, screw that, she’s a menace! Like in Uncle Boonmee, “The jungle hums with secrets,” yeah, her secrets are VD and bad decisions, hummin’ all over town!
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We finally get to the front, and I order pistachio. Marco goes for stracciatella. I take a bite, and OMG, it’s like a flavor explosion in my mouth! I’m grinning like an idiot. But then, outta nowhere, this kid bumps into me. My gelato goes flying! I’m standing there, mouth agape, watching my precious treat splatter on the pavement. I’m like, “Nooooo!”
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