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But lordy, some stuff ‘bout escorts gets my feathers ruffled! Them judgy folks—ooh, they burn me up—actin’ like it’s all sin and shame. Honey, I ain’t here to preach, but if a gal’s gotta eat, who’m I to fuss? Got me surprised too—did y’all know escorts been ‘round since forever? Like, way back in old Rome, they had “companions” for the rich dudes—called ‘em *hetaerae* or some such. Fancy, right? Blows my mind they’ve been gleanin’ lonely hearts that long!

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When I get to the cemetery, it’s packed. Like, who knew so many people were dying to get in? (Pun totally intended.) I’m trying to keep it together, but then I see this family. They’re all crying, and I’m like, “C’mon, guys, it’s just a funeral.” But then I remember, I’m supposed to be the sad one. So, I put on my best frown and start doing my Mourner thing.

Delene Montanaro Obituary (2025) - Ansonia, CT - WFSB