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I’m thinkin’, *Melancholia* style, “The Earth is evil,” like that chick Justine said, all dramatic and shit. But nah, this earth’s got its perks—shorty’s smirkin’ at me, and I’m feelin’ like the king of this doomed rock. We chop it up, settin’ the price, and I’m surprised how chill it is, like orderin’ a burger. “How much, fam?” She’s like, “Hundo, big dawg.” Done deal, fo’ shizzle.

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I’m tryin’ to fix it, but it’s like it has a mind of its own. I’m sweatin’ bullets, cursing under my breath. “C’mon, you old hunk of metal!” I’m practically begging it. Then, outta nowhere, my buddy Marco strolls in. He’s got that goofy grin, and I’m like, “Dude, not now!” But he’s all hyped about some festival in the piazza. I’m like, “Yeah, yeah, but my furnace is about to blow!”

Fincantieri's Monfalcone shipyard floats out Star Princess