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Oh, and the smells—god forbid! Stale perfume, cigarette smoke—my nose would revolt! I’d be rantin’, “Can’t you Febreeze this joint?” Total “Dogville” moment—Grace puttin’ up with filth, me whinin’ about it. I’d probly tip too much outta guilt—neurotic, right? “Here’s an extra twenty—sorry for existin’!” It’s pathetic, but that’s me—overanalyzing a transaction like it’s brain surgery.

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As I was leaving, I got lost. Classic me, right? I ended up on some random street, and I swear, it felt like a scene from a movie. I was surrounded by these fancy shops, and I’m in my sneakers looking like a total tourist. I walked into a store, and the salespeople looked at me like I was a lost puppy.

Fofana forced off in first half vs Genoa, but Milan optimistic ahead of Coppa Italia final