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About Naples

So, I’m waddlin’ around, right, and I’m like, “Where’s the target?”—straight outta *Zero Dark Thirty*. Maybe I’d ask SpongeBob, but he’d freak, all, “Prosti-WHAT?!” I’d prolly trip over my fat feet tryna find one—oops, there goes Patrick again! Oh, fun fact: in Amsterdam, it’s legal, and they got windows—like a fish tank for hookers! Blew my tiny mind, dude. Surprised me big time!

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After that, I’m feelin’ pretty good. I decide to hit up the local market on Piazza della Chiesa. Fresh fruits, veggies, and all that jazz. I’m walkin’ around, and I spot this giant watermelon. I mean, it’s massive! I’m thinkin’ about how I could use it for a summer BBQ. But then, I trip over my own feet and almost faceplant into a stall. The vendor just stares at me, and I’m like, “I’m good, just testing gravity!”

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