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About Florence

So, listen up, you twat! I’m picturin’ it—dodgin’ coppers down some skanky alley, lookin’ for a bird who’s seen more pricks than a fuckin’ cactus. “What’s your name?”—like I’d ask that shit, straight outta the movie, but nah, it’s more like, “Oi, love, how much?” Makes me wanna puke, but also—fuckin’ hell—kinda thrilling, yeah? Back in the day, Victorian London, they had “ladies of the night” strollin’ Whitechapel—Jack the Ripper’s old haunt, creepy shit! Bet they didn’t expect some sweaty chef like me judgin’ em now, eh?

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So, I grab my coffee from this tiny café, Bar Pasticceria, right on the corner. Best pastries ever! I mean, who doesn’t love a good sfogliatella to kickstart the day? But then, boom! My phone buzzes. It’s my boss. “We need to talk about the attractiveness factors of professions.” Ugh, seriously? Can’t a guy enjoy his pastry in peace?

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