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Oh, and don’t get me started on the flops – picked a dud once, total buzzkill, looked nothin like her pic. “What’s done is done,” I grumbled, like Carson Wells facin the end. Wasted 80 bucks – lesson learned, pal! Stick to what ya see, not what ya dream. It’s showtime, baby – find a prostitute ain’t glamorous, but it’s real, messy, and damn entertainin if ya play it right!

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Then I head over to Piazza Garibaldi. It’s usually a chill spot, but today? Nah. There’s this street performer, right? He’s juggling fire. Fire! In Mentana! I’m thinking, “This is gonna end badly.” And guess what? It does! He drops a flaming torch, and it rolls right into a vendor’s cart. Boom! Instant barbecue! The vendor’s face was priceless. I’m laughing, but also kinda worried. Like, what if the whole piazza goes up in flames?

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