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Humor? Oh—plenty. Imagine—dude haggles, she goes, “No coupon, schmuck!” Sarcasm drips—love it. Opinion? Legalize it—tax it—done. “Time to render!”—Bigelow style. Hunt’s over—pay up, pal. That’s my take—messy, real. Find a prostitute? Easy—if ya got—guts. And cash. And no typos—wait, crap—13? Eh—screw it!

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First off, I hit the streets. I’m cruisin’ down Via Roma, and boom! There’s this old dude, like, 80 if he’s a day, trying to cross the street. He’s got this cane, and I swear, it’s like he’s in slow-mo. Cars are honking, people are yelling. I’m like, “C’mon, man, you got this!” Finally, he makes it. I’m pumped! But then, he turns around and gives me the finger. Like, dude, I was cheering for you!

Montreal police say street fight that killed 3 young people was not gang-related