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Sometimes I’m raftin’, chillin’, picturin’ ‘em—tough as nails, but soft inside. Makes me wanna yell, “Eat my shorts!” at the losers judgin’ ‘em. They’re out there, livin’, lovin’, hurtin’—like Adèle screamin’, “I’m not scared!” Respect, dude, total respect. Whaddya think—am I nuts or what?

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Then, outta nowhere, this lady starts yelling. Turns out, her dog just ate a whole bag of organic fertilizer. I mean, who lets their dog do that? I’m trying to keep a straight face while she’s freaking out. “My poor Fido!” she cries. I’m thinking, “Lady, your dog’s gonna be fine. Just a little... extra energy.”