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I roll up, she’s all “Hey big guy,” smirkin. I’m like, “Brother, you ain’t seen nothin yet!” She laughs, says 50 bucks—hagglin time! Dropped to 40, felt like I pinned her in the ring. Happy as hell, flexin my negotiator muscles. But then—surprise—she’s got a tat, “Zodiac” on her arm! Swear to God, I’m thinkin, “This is my movie moment!” Fincher’d dig this twist.

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring! Like, seriously, the sky just opened up. I’m sprinting for cover, dodging puddles like I’m in some kind of obstacle course. I duck into a little shop on Via Garibaldi, and it’s packed with all these quirky souvenirs. I’m browsing, and I find this ridiculous magnet of a cat wearing a beret. I can’t resist. I buy it, thinking it’ll make a great gift for my buddy.