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About Bari

Now, I’m thinkin’, if Larry Gopnik was here, he’d be all, “What does it mean?”—foolin’ with his physics and whatnot, while I’m over here dodgin’ pimps! I got mad one time, though—some slick dude tried chargin’ me $20 just to ASK where the girls at! I said, “Boy, you crazy? I ain’t payin’ for directions!” Made me wanna holler—felt like the universe was testin’ me, like in that movie, “Nobody knows nothing!”

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After that, I decide to hit up the local market on Piazza della Repubblica. It’s buzzing with people, vendors shouting about their fresh produce. I’m trying to navigate through the crowd, and I swear, it’s like a scene from a movie. I bump into this old lady, and she gives me the dirtiest look. I’m like, “Sorry, ma’am! Didn’t mean to invade your personal space!”