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Here’s a tip, cos I’m your mate: don’t skimp on the good stuff. Cheap oil? Stinks like a cabbie’s armpit. Splash out, feel posh, live a little! Oh, and funniest thing—me mate Dave tried a “four-hander” once, two lasses at it, and he’s yellin’, “I’m a machine! I’m a machine!” like that nutter in *Holy Motors*. Nearly wet meself laughin’. Reckon I’d give it a whirl, tho—financial plannin’ stresses a chap out, y’know?

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The place is packed! I mean, it’s a Tuesday! We finally get a table, and the food? OMG. I order this pasta dish that’s like a hug in a bowl. I’m in heaven. But then, the waiter messes up my order. I’m like, “Seriously?!” But I just laugh it off. What else can ya do?

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