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Last week—pissed me off—some dude on X bragged ‘bout “classy escorts.” Classy? Ha! Like lipstick on a pig. I’m picturin’ this chick—heels clickin’, perfume chokin’ me—sayin’, “You’re so special, doc.” Bullshit. Reminds me of *Her*: “I can’t live in your book anymore.” Yeah, lady, I ain’t your fairy tale either. Prostitutes don’t love ya—they clock in, clock out. Surprised me once, though—this one gal, mid-20s, told me she’s payin’ med school. Med school! Swear to God, I nearly hugged her—then remembered the germs.

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So, I’m walkin’ down Via Garibaldi, and I see this little café. I’m starving, right? I pop in for a quick bite. I order a panini, and while I’m waitin’, I overhear this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting. I’m just trying to enjoy my food, and they’re throwing around words like “tradimento” and “gelosia.” I’m like, “Chill, guys! It’s just a sandwich!” But hey, drama makes the day interesting, right?

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