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So I’m stumblin’, lookin’ fer a lass, right? Streets all twisty, dark—like that bit in the movie, “the favela’s a maze, man!” I see this gal, winkin’, smokin’—proper fit, yeah? I go, *mimes walking, trips, waves awkwardly* “Hullooo!” She laughs—bloody hell, I’m red as a lobster! Made me happy, that—silly ol’ me, charmin’ ‘em accidental-like. But then—BAM!—some bloke, her pimp prob’ly, storms up, all “Who’s this prat?!” *mimes dodging a punch, flails* Nearly shat meself!
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Man, what a day! I’m tellin’ ya, being a matador in Maiori is like riding a rollercoaster blindfolded. So, I wake up, right? Sun’s blasting through my window on Via Nuova. I’m like, “Great, another day in paradise.” But then I remember, I gotta face the bull today. Ugh.
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