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And the risks! Oh, don’t get me started. You’re dodgin’ cops, STDs, and God knows what else. I’d be whisperin’ to myself, “This is how I die, isn’t it?” Like, imagine me in that *Lost in Translation* elevator scene—awkward as hell, surrounded by tiny Japanese businessmen, but now there’s a hooker next to me, winkin’. I’d freak out! “What am I supposed to say to her?!” Probably somethin’ dumb like, “So, uh, you come here often?” Total trainwreck.

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Then, bam! Outta nowhere, I trip over a cobblestone. Like, seriously? Who thought it was a good idea to make streets like that? I’m cursing under my breath, but then I see this old lady chuckling at me. I laugh it off, but inside, I’m like, “You think that’s funny, huh?”

Vehicular homicide case ends with Lodi man found not guilty by mental disease