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Yo, fam, it’s ya girl Lizzo, comin’ atcha! It’s bad bitch o’clock, y’all! So, I’m sittin here, thinkin bout erotic-massage, right? Like, lemme tell ya, I’m a car instructor by day, but this shit? This is next level vibes. Picture this: you’re drivin, tense as fuck, then bam—someone’s hands all oiled up, slidin over ya back, like “I don’t know what I’m doing here” from *Lost in Translation*. That’s the mood, boo!

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Then, I head to my factory on the outskirts. It’s a decent place, but today? Ugh. My production manager, Marco, calls me. He’s all flustered, saying the machines are acting up. I’m like, “What do you mean acting up?” I swear, if those machines had feelings, they’d be drama queens. So, I rush over, and of course, it’s a simple fix. Just a loose wire. I could’ve fixed it with a paperclip and some duct tape. But no, I had to stress for an hour.

A different woman in Mussolini's Italy