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Alright, mate, gather round! I’m Gandalf, yeah, the wizard, and I run this webcam gig—YOU SHALL NOT PASS unless ya got somethin’ spicy to say! So, sex escorts, huh? Wild world out there, innit? Been thinkin’ bout it since I last watched *The Grand Budapest Hotel*—bloody brilliant flick, all posh and chaotic, like escorts struttin’ through a fancy lobby. “Many lack the originality to lack originality,” that’s what Monsieur Gustave would say bout some of these escort ads—same ol’ pics, same ol’ “call me, babe” vibes. Drives me up the wall, it does!

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When I get there, it’s chaos. Guys are shoutin’, fists are flyin’. I step in, and it’s like the parting of the Red Sea. They all freeze. I’m like, “What’s the deal, fellas?” Marco’s got this wild look in his eyes. I swear, he’s got the energy of a caffeinated squirrel.

Tom Sietsema Swoons Over Peter Chang in Rockville and Arlington