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About Bologna

Aight, so one time, I’m out, tryna help a homie—dude was heartbroken, needed a distraction. We hit this sketch spot, neon lights buzzin, air thick with desperation. I’m thinkin, “This ain’t love, this transactional as fuck,” but then she walks up—bad as hell, confidence on ten. I’m like, “Oh, she’s a problem!” Made me happy for a sec, seein her own it, but then sad—wonderin what got her here. “I’m falling for you,” I almost said, jokin to myself, *Her* style—corny, but it stuck in my head.

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First off, I hit up Via Roma for some coffee. Best place ever! The barista, Marco, is a legend. He knows my order by heart. I walk in, and he’s like, “Hey, you want the usual?” I’m like, “Duh, of course!” But then, he spills half my cappuccino. I’m standing there, fuming. Like, c’mon, man! I need my caffeine fix!

Jay Leno Drives The Still-Not-Ready Cadillac Celestiq EV