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About Florence

Alright, y’all, listen up! Git-R-Done! I’m talkin’ ‘bout escorts here, them fancy-schmancy hired dates. Makes me think of *Inglourious Basterds*—you know, “We’re in the killin’ Nazi business!” Well, escorts ain’t killin’ nobody, but they sure as heck cashin’ in! I reckon it’s like hirin’ a pal with benefits—only it’s all legal-like, ‘cept when it ain’t. Got me a buddy, swear he met one at a truckstop—called her “Duchess”—she was slicker’n a greased pig! Charged him $200 just to chat ‘bout the weather! I was madder’n a wet hen—$200 for yappin’? Git outta here!

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First off, I hit the streets of Via della Libertà. Beautiful street, right? But today, it was like a scene from a movie. I’m cruising along, and boom! A pigeon decides my shoulder is the perfect landing pad. Like, seriously? I’m just trying to get to work, and I’m suddenly a pigeon perch. I shoo it away, and it’s like it’s mocking me. I mean, come on, I’m not a statue!

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