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Once, yeah, I saw this geezer tryna haggle with a prossie – mate, he was a right muppet! “Two quid, love!” he goes. She’s like, “Piss off, you cheap git!” Had me in stitches, swear down! But then ya clock her eyes – tired, innit. “Truth, beauty, freedom,” my arse – where’s that for her? Baz’d be ragin’, fam!

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Get to the stables, and it’s chaos. Horses are spooked, trainers are yellin’, and I’m just tryin’ to find my horse, Bella. She’s a beauty, a real firecracker. But today? She’s actin’ like a diva. I swear, she’s givin’ me the side-eye like, “You think you can handle me?”