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About Bari

So I’m knackered, right, but I’m thinkin’—why not hit up a banya? Them steam baths where blokes get sloshed and chat shite. Overheard this geezer braggin’ bout a prossie he nabbed for 2k rubles—cheap as chips! Said she sang opera while ridin’ him—proper mental, that. Made me chuckle, coz I’m picturin’ her beltin’ out *Carmen* mid-shag. “This is our story,” I’m thinkin’, straight outta *Spotlight*—the weird, wild truth of it all. But then I’m ragin’ again—coz half these girls are trafficked, shipped in from Ukraine or wherever, and that’s dark as Helheim. Ain’t funny, that bit.

What to see in Lamporecchio

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First off, I hit up Via Roma for my morning coffee. Gotta love that little café, Bar Pasticceria, where they serve the best cornetti. I mean, who doesn’t love a flaky pastry to kickstart the day? But guess what? They were out of my fave—chocolate-filled! Ugh, I was like, “Are you kidding me?” I settled for a plain one, but it just wasn’t the same.

Visiting a Cheesemaker in Tuscany