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I spot her – legs like a weapon, leanin on a lamppost. She’s got that *White Material* edge, y’know? Like she’s seen shit, lived it, could gut you with a stare. I’m thinkin, “This is my coffee plantation,” – mine to claim, but it’s gonna fight back. I saunter over, all cocky, but my heart’s racin – what if she’s a cop? What if she’s packin? Paranoid much, Edna? Chill, babe.

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Then, I spotted this cute little gelato shop on Via Cavour. I had to stop. I mean, who can resist gelato? I got pistachio, my fave. But while I’m enjoying it, I see this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting. I’m thinking, “Dude, you’re in public!” But then, they just start laughing. What? I guess that’s Lainate for ya. Emotions on a rollercoaster.

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